Mar 20 2015
Mar 20 2015
Well; *some* snow happened. Winter came in and flew by. I don't think anyone wants to get into it.
Paste Magazine just shared this article, and is totally right. Spring skiing can be fun. But at the risk of getting in big trouble for saying it out loud: I've done enough of that this year. Maybe for a lifetime. Ugh.
You may have mountain biking and Spring Break beaches on the brain. But that’s silly because the best party at the Canyons is the Pond Skim, and it’s happening this weekend! So forget the logistics, the complaining, the big garage gear/season switch out.
Tonight teams are working wildly with paper mache, glitter, tequila, maybe even hot glue guns and most definitely duct tape. They will get little to no sleep, costume up, and hit the Canyons hot. And looking ridiculous.
Mountain biking is not more fun dropping your jaw seeing that one giant bro team that always crashes. Tennis isn't a better idea for tomorrow than the dancing in the sun to a killer DJ. We're not trying to be classy. We're watching, pointing and laughing as children and grown men alike attempt to cross a small, somehow absolutely frigid little pool of water.
Is any prize enough? Canyons has great ones. But for me, it would take a million dollars. And some Twizzlers. And the autograph of someone famous that people get impressed by. And a date with Tom Brady. Oh and a lifetime supply of Rockstar. What I'm saying is, loving spectating is different that participating. And the spring sports are like, just so much work.
Fat skis keep getting fatter. Maybe we should double the size of the pond? Is 100 feet not big enough to get you up there? Make it deeper? What would get you up there tomorrow? Or what do you love about the event the most? How soggy half the crew is after, wrapped in towels and shaking, while you apply more sunscreen? Lower your shades and wink as some ski babes pass by? How beefy you look in swim trunks, white pasty thighs blazing?
No matter what your season was like, this time of year comes too soon. Might as well get up, ski if you want, enjoy your afternoon (contest starts at noon o'clock don't be late it flies by) and there's even a concert at the base.
This is the first year I can't make it in five. I'm crying about it. Pour some out for me.
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